Light Rock Conspiracy

It affects us all whether we're aware or not. It attacks without prejudice, warning or motive. It can get us anywhere at work, in the car, at home, in the store and most traditionally in the elevator. The damage can be minimal, almost undectable or on the opposite side of the scale the damage could lead to serious mental derangement!!! What is it you ask. Light Rock!







I first became fully aware of this phenomena several years back when my bedroom was being built and I slept on the living room couch for a few weeks one summer. I always left the windows open at night. At least four times a week I would awake with an unsolicited song in my head. I have erased most of the whole horrible episode from my memory so I cannot site the exact songs but the nature of them would be "LIGHT" During the day I searched for anything like a radio left on and came up with nothing. Having always been accused of a wild imagination , I developed a vivid image of a very vindictive or evil being that would hold a tiny wire attached to a micro speaker which fit through the mesh of the window screen. Late at night this guy/gal would turn on light rock tunes while I slept. The result of this manifested itself during the day. I would have the most ridiculous songs playing in my head. No matter how hard I tried to blast the light sounds out of my brain by way of Metallica or Iron Maiden, temporary relief was all I could seem to get. "You belong to the city" I tried with a more complex blend of music, But it was no use, even the greatest composers like Beethoven and Mahler couldn't help me. I could not figure out who would expose me to this tremendous mental strain, I made lists of possible enemies, ones who I knew and ones I didn't. Nothing made sense. I am a mother of three who works in an office in a small town. I have no enemies! I found no resolve and just deemed the whole situation a crazy conspiracy. Maybe an experiment concocted by the government or aliens with a taste for easy listening. As the problem perplexed me, I developed an unnatrual fear of the night. Knowing that as I drifted off into a lucid world of strange images and dreams the unwelcomed soundtrack would invade my private thoughts and upon waking all would fade but the soundtrack "At the Copa, Copacabana"" Oh! For the love of lola and rico leave me alone!!!!







I finally moved into my bedroom, making sure my spot in the bed was far from any open window the problem seemed to lighten up . No pun intended







A few years later, I was grocery shopping with my daughters. I was deep in thought trying to decide between mild, medium or sharp cheddar I didn't even notice I was singing until one of the kids pointed it out "on the day that you were born" . She asked what song that was. I don't know I said. We continued. "why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near" Another daughter spoke up, if you don't know what song it is how do you know all the words! I was stunned. How did I know the words?







These Light Rock songs have been playing somewhere all my life but I have never actually purchased an album of this sort. When looking for a radio station and hear that he's "lost in love" or she "cried a tear" I groan and move on to the next station. So how on earth do I know the lyrics so well. Do I have a light rock loving alternative self running around riding in elevators and sitting in waiting rooms just for the music? Sounds a bit far fetched.







Recently, my boss walked into the office as he does several times a week, singing a song. "Everybody plays the fool, do da do do" Two days later I caught myself singing that same song. I don't know the words to this particular light rock ballad so in my head and out I kept repeating the same line. Oh how I annoy myself. I told my family that I had a song stuck in my head. All eyes rolled, I could see that they had heard my "light rock conspiracy" speach one too many times. The oldest said, Mom what good does it do to complain? It won't make it go away." Out of the mouths of babes!! My sweet daughter didn't know it at the time, but she innocently gave birth to what I have deemed "The light rock war"







I work for a small company. There are two of us in the office and besides being co-workers we are the very best of friends. Liz and I work very hard but always manage to have a great time. We laugh non-stop. Everything that comes up is potential joke material. Our boss's<> taste in music gives us the giggles. I have told Liz of the light rock conspiracy, and she sees the validity to my theroy. In fact she too has been plagued by imposter music deep within her mind. When the boss comes in singing she and I will end up with his song stuck on replay indefinately. At one point I had a particularly annoying bout with "feelings" for days I was "trying to forget those Feelings of " yikes. It was so consuming inside my head it seeped out. I sang it out loud. Liz and I laughed. I went to get the mail, a 15 minute drive, when I returned Liz is at her desk glaring at me. "Damn you Teresa!" I asked what's wrong and she stands up throws her arms open wide and belts out "FEELINGS whoa ho ho ho oh Feelings" We both started to crack up and were unable to stop laughing for hours. Later that day I noticed thereBut I realized what I was able to stop was the stupid song that had been stuck inside my head.















The next day I decided to experiment on my unsuspecting co-workers. A technition would come in to turn in some paperwork and I would innocently sing a thoughtfully chosen song. Just a few bars at first, "I believe the children are our future" I would walk out outside for a few minutes. Back at my desk "teach them well and let them lead the way" then to the kitchen I'd go humming. Back at my desk, I'd answer a phone call, while I had the customer on hold I'd humm a bit more. I'd finish up the call. Hang up. La lala they posses inside. lala a sense of pride" The unsuspecting technition walks outside to smoke a cigarette, Get some chemicals out of the shed. and finally he reenters the office. Within seconds I hear a deep quiet voice " the greatest love of all" I smiled ear to ear Bingo! It worked. I could now pass the light rock along.







Now, in my experiment I was in complete control. I chose the song and was in control of the recepient