Today is as good a day as any to mourn for The King, Aslan.

The problem is that I don't know where he is! So in the hopes that cats are pvsychic and can tap into the internet i or if he has used the last of his giiven 9, and again, there is WiFi in the  afterlife, I'll address the following to you.

I am so sorry I didn't come home for two months. I was in s .car accident. I wonder if after 7 weeks you just decided to take matters into your own paws and come find me? I feel so bad that we lost the kingdom unto which you were born and claimed the throne!  You would have not been without your family in my absence. I know you needed me, I can tell by the lost look in Piper's eyes. We're you trying to help her, I wonder? She's so lost and I don't know if it's her age or the stress of this last year. You seemed to adapt just fine.  .
You are the most important cat ever. You demanded tradition and ceremony daily, giving a little structure in an ofhwise chaotic home. You those around we're compelled to give their 100,o/o attention.  Especially me. I know we entered into a contract when you were less than a month old.  It was one of the most strange and amazing moments in my life. Pure magic. I was walking by Sofia's room where you and your sisters were nursing and you pulled away from Sara and stopped me dead in my tracks wih your eyes.  You spoke to me in a language that it beyond word s. You told me you would be with us for a very long time.  I knew you'd see the girls through their college years. Now the twins are Juniors and Sofia would have graduated if that was her path. So I guess our contract is up.   Agve we are no longer to understand to each other. Is it possible our tree and if it's a good thing for you than  I can only be happy. For me I don't feel free. That moment was so long ago but it seems so close to this one. I wonder if time isn't as chro ological as we perceive it . 
I wanted to write about all the great things you have done to make our families lives complete.  I wanted to record all the fun memories. But I am not able to just yet. I am so sad. I feel paralysed with heartbreak. I still carry a glimmer of hope that you found your way to s comfortable home where you make someone happy.in fact I am pretending the Buddhist nuns took you in. If that's the case please drop by to let me know your ok.
 You and Piper kept me going while I ewain the hospital. You

Sorry for myself

So I finished an entry. I was saying how I wanted to stay in bed all day and cry! I am experiencing the aftermath of a traumatic car accident. I have not been home for two months! I'm healing quickly but have too many slow healing Injuries to live normally yet. So today I wake up feeling helpless, sad and depressed. I then make it worse by feeling guilty that I'm so self centered. It's all about me! Looking to make a clear path out from my bed to the door I find a picture drawn by Alexa when she was about 5. It's her and another female, I took it to be me, the height was indicative of adulthood. So letx and I are standing under a black cloud in the pouring rain. But we're smiling and each have an umbrella and bows on our shoes and in our hair! Fuck the rain we're smiling!  She always does, and I'm known for it as well! She smiled from here nightmare of an illness and I from my hospital bed as well. So thank you five year old alexa

The irony is that after having my stiff upper lip epiphany I and recording it via blog I lost the entire thing. It was so much more entertaining than this! Fucked sometimes the universe feels fucked